Better off Sober

 I'm on day 76. My head is clearer than it has been in years and I think I understand this alcohol thing a bit better. I'm not an expert by any stretch of the imagination but I do have a theory for all the people out there who didn't like themselves when they were drinking but they couldn't seem to stop. Here it is..... I think you need to dig really deep and find out why you started in the first place. I don't mean why you started drinking. Everyone dabbles when they are young. I mean the binge drinking. The pain deadener. The anaesthetic that blocks out the things that are too painful to think about.  In my experience, in the words of the Gruffalo, you can't go under it, you can't go over it, you have to go through it! I've been in therapy for a year and I am just starting to realise that I used alcohol to mask the pain of life experiences. We're all different and we all drink for different reasons, but it's not called drowning your sorrows for

 When lockdown first became a thing in March I thought that I would use the opportunity to get thin and fit. Yep! That's what I was going to do. Instead of doing that, I volunteered with a meals on wheels charity and watched tele (and drank, of course). Then we came out of lockdown, briefly, and I basically spent too much time in the pub. The pub situation was bizarre to say the least. You had to walk in with your mask on, sit down, take your mask off. Table service was the strangest thing in my local pub. The staff are my friends so it was so odd having them wait on me. If you wanted to go to the toilet....mask on! You get the picture. I didn't enjoy that situation and I've never been a big home drinker so I thought I would give sobriety a go. Here I am, 10 weeks sober, and we're back in lockdown! So this time, two weeks before Christmas I'm going to try the thin and fit thing again. So I'm taking myself out for a walk.....I've got to start somewhere!

 This is my first ever blog!  I am 70 days sober and it feels so great that I thought I would start to write about it. The early days were tough and I really didn't know that I was going to make it this far.  I've read a few sober books. I joined some sober Facebook groups. I've bought a sober bracelet (more about this another day).  I've found that the best thing for sobriety is support and likeminded people. So I've started this blog for myself and anyone else who wants to chat to a stranger about giving up alcohol. I'm finding that one of the hardest things about early sobriety is 'coming out!' Having the courage to tell my friends and family that I have decided to give the booze a miss for a while. When you give up alcohol, the question you get asked the most is "Why?"  I've found that trick is to keep it simple. No one really cares why, therefore long explanations are pointless. Probably the best answer is "Because I want to."